University, Inc.

It’s spring in Burlington and the last traces of snow are receding to the north side of buildings and shrubs. The breeze carries the aroma of wet earth and renewal. The University of Vermont is on spring break and the town is pleasantly empty. The students at Groovy UV may be the only college students in America who drink less on spring break than they do on campus.

According to a new study released by the Harvard School of Public Health, University of Vermont students are almost twice as likely as their peers to engage in binge drinking. Seventy-one percent of our scholars has five or more drinks in one sitting in the two weeks before they responded to the Harvard survey, as opposed to the 44 percent national average, and 43 percent of UVM students drink five or more in a sitting twice a week or more, as compared to 23 percent nationally.
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Nailing Jell-O to the Wall

The newspapers have been full of stories about China lately, and I think we’ll be seeing more in the months to come. On the political page, Bill Clinton is pushing Congress to bestow permanent normal trade relations on China. In a speech at Johns Hopkins University last week, the president said giving permanent trade status to the Chinese is the best way to ensure that country makes strides toward democracy.

Mr. Clinton says he sees a new China, where faxes, e-mail and the Internet guarantee an explosion of democracy and predicted that the Communist Party’s efforts to contain an on-line democratic movement will be like trying to nail Jell-O to the wall.
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Earn Extra Money

The ad said, “EARN EXTRA MONEY. Make a Difference by Assisting in Medical Research.” The money was good – $460 and all you had to do was swallow a little pill. Or, more precisely, swallow a little pill and sign a few forms.

The MDS Harris Laboratory in Lincoln, Nebraska – you wondered what goes on in Nebraska, didn’t you? – is the only lab in America that currently engages in human experimentation with toxic chemicals. The pills, at least some of them, were filled with a pesticide, Dursban, which is used to kill cockroaches, termites, ticks and fire ants. The Harris lab fed the pesticide to volunteers under a contract from Dow Chemical, the company that makes Dursban.
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Clinton’s Vietnam

Do you remember the Domino Theory? Do you remember strategic hamlets and destroying the village to save it? How about napalm and Agent Orange and the Christmas bombing campaign? It all seems pretty stupid now, doesn’t it? How could have been so convinced we were right? What could we have been thinking? It’s easy to be sanctimonious with the benefit of 40 years of hindsight, but what’s happening now?
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Pork Barrel Politics

I have a confession to make: I love pork. I eat pork at least once a week. I had pork chops for dinner on Monday and leftovers for lunch Tuesday and they were delicious. I acknowledge there are any number of ethical and philosophical arguments against eating meat and I agree with many of them, but my goodness, that pork is just so tasty – barbecued ribs, chops, ham, sausage or bacon – I love it all.

What’s good for me (my cholesterol is fine, thank you) is not so good for the pig. The pig has to die before any of my gastro-intestinal happiness can take place and this is unfortunate, but there are mitigating factors. The pork I eat is not just some anonymous hunk of shrink-wrapped meat from a refrigerated case; I’m eating my way through a particular pig and I’m familiar with its history. The pig I’m eating was raised on an organic farm up near the Canadian border by my friend Bob. The pig was not raised in confinement, but had the run of the barnyard and was fattened on meals of feta cheese and apples. (That last item was a point of mutual satisfaction for the pig and myself.)
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Hitler’s Highway

I like living in Burlington, I just hate driving here. I have never encountered a group of citizens less familiar with the rules of the road than my fellow denizens of the Queen City of Lake Champlain. Yes, they’re even worse than the fabled bad drivers of Boston. At least in Boston, the intentions of the other drivers are clear – they want to pass you, cut you off, go around, over or through you to get where they’re going. Boston drivers never use their turn signals.

Burlington drivers never stop using their turn signals, a practice equally meaningless. In Burlington, half the drivers are too polite, waving me through an intersection when they have the right of way, the other half just arrived from Boston and will drive on the sidewalk to pass. Then consider that 10,000 of my fellow motorists are college students who have been driving less than five years. Then add snow.
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Bishop Attacks Queen

According to the legend, St. Valentine was a bishop in what is now Italy back in the days when the Romans were killing Christians. He was beheaded on February 14th, which became his feast day. In the middle ages, people began sending love letters – or Valentines – on this day because folk wisdom held that February 14th is the day when birds – lovebirds, I suppose – choose their mates.

Recent history tells us Kenneth Angell is bishop of Burlington, in what is now Vermont. Late last year, the Vermont Supreme Court decreed same-sex unions must be legally recognized and left it to the state legislature to determine whether gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry or if the state should establish a domestic partnership law, bestowing the legal equivalent of marriage. As you might imagine, gay marriage is the big issue of the 2000 legislative session. Vermonters have been turning out by the thousand to attend public hearings. The “God hates fags” people from the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas put in an appearance a few months ago, then quickly ran away.
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