05/17/2012

Can I See Some ID?

I was in Washington a few weeks ago and attended an event at a bar.  I showed up with my colleague Charlie; we’re both in our 50s, our hair is gray or thinning or both, our faces seamed by decades of care.  No one could mistake us for teens, but we pulled out our photo IDs and showed the bouncer.  We had to; otherwise we couldn’t get in.

Eight years ago, I wrote in this space that I possessed one of the few non-photo driver’s licenses left in America.  I finally submitted to the tyranny of the camera when I renewed my license in 2009.  Between frequent flying and DC bar-hopping it was just too much of a hassle to remember to always bring my passport.

Later, Charlie and I talked about how reflexive and normal the reach for ID has become.  It used to irritate me (as many things do) and tempted as I was to engage pointless, philosophical discussions with bouncers (“Really?  What’s the likelihood I’m under 21?”) I knew they were trying to hang onto not-very-remunerative jobs in a tough economy (and they were, after all, bouncers).
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By floegel | Posted in Civil Liberty, Commentary | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (0)
05/10/2012

We Are Still Married

“I have overwhelming respect for the sanctity of marriage,” says Vin Scully, voice of the Los Angeles Dodgers for 62 years in today’s New York Times.  Mr. Scully was referring to the marital discord of Frank and Jamie McCourt, the gajillionaires who lost control of the Dodgers in a messy divorce.

While I have not conducted systematic research, I feel safe in saying Mr. Scully’s is one of the few statements on marriage in today’s news that is not a reaction to President Barack Obama’s endorsement of same sex marriage yesterday.

Mr. Obama’s outing (so to speak) on this issue was forced by Vice President Joe Biden’s remark Sunday that he feels comfortable with same sex marriage.  Some people called it another Joe Biden gaffe, some said it was a tactical move, who knows?  Who cares?  The point is that it’s long overdue for the president to stand up and say the right thing.

Civil unions were legalized in Vermont in 2000.  It was forced on the legislature by the Vermont Supreme Court; there was huge hue and cry, anti-abortion activist Randall Terry showed up in a full-length fur cot and predicted the end of civilization.  Then- Governor Howard Dean signed the bill into law behind closed doors and allowed no photos to be taken of the historic event.  Bet he’s screaming at himself now.
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By floegel | Posted in Civil Liberty, Commentary | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)
05/03/2012

Global Warming, As It Pertains to Me

Friday evening I was tying old shower curtains around my grape arbor.  The temperature was dropping quickly all along our block, neighbors were busily wrapping fruit trees, to protect the blossoms from two nights of predicted well-below-freezing weather.

The wind was up as the front moved in, the light through the clouds held a blue tint and worried though I was, I had to admit a certain exhilaration.  The loose ends of the shower curtains (we use retired shower curtains for drop cloths, etc.) flapped furiously as I ran up and down the stepladder with a Barlow knife and bits of twine.  I worried my knots would prove ineffectual; that I’d wake in the night to see the arbor fluttering like a banshee and I’d have to resign my seat in the Greenpeace Knot-Tyers Club.

The knots held, the freeze passed us by, all the plants seem to have survived and while I’m still trying to hold to my weather observing resolution, I have to admit global warming has hopelessly intruded upon it and may never be ejected.
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By floegel | Posted in Commentary, Global Warming | Tagged , | Comments (0)
04/26/2012

Who Else is Peeing?

Every morning, I get out of bed and first thing, relieve my bladder.  This is neither unusual nor restricted to the middle-aged and above crowd.  What might be unusual (probably is), is the question that so frequently comes to mind in that moment: Who else is peeing?

Let me be clear up front, I’m wondering about demographics, not individuals.  (“Is Newt Gingrich peeing right now?  Is Callista?”  That’s just sick.)  I apologize (really!) if that image is now stuck in your head and I further apologize for all the numbers I’m about to throw at you, but demographics is number intensive and again, think of the alternative.

WikiAnswers says the average daily urine output is 1.5 liters (or about 49.8 ounces).  For simplicity sake, let’s say the average person evacuates her or his bladder four times a day for 30 seconds each, making equal contributions of 11.8 ounces per visit to the WC.

Since WikiAnswers did so well on the urine question, we’ll take its word that global population is 7.009 billion people or seven billion to make it easy on ourselves.
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By floegel | Posted in Commentary | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments (0)
04/19/2012

Accountability

What is a reasonable cost for a conference for 300 civil servants from across the western US?  Airfare, food, lodging, conference facilities, speakers, prep, etc., etc.  From the news stories, it’s clear that $823,000 is way too much.  Next year’s conference, I’m just guessing, will be substantially less extravagant, so let’s say $300,000.  That means the General Services Administration overspent by $523,000.

That’s a half million dollars Americans had to give the government whether they wanted to or not (or at least working and middle class Americans, rich folks seem to have an “or not” clause in the tax code).  That’s the reason for all the indignation.  I think of myself as a cheerful taxpayer; I’m happy to chip in for all those things that we need to share in common.  My own vacations are pretty modest and I don’t want to be forced to send the people who work for me to resorts I can’t afford to visit myself.

At the same time, I don’t need to see a bunch of hearings with Congressmen (who are themselves overpaid and coddled) bloviating at GSA bureaucrats.  That doesn’t make me feel better.  Getting the money back, that’s what’ll make me feel better.  Accountability. Take the top ten people at GSA and charge them $523,000, divide it up however you like.
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By floegel | Posted in Civil Liberty, Commentary, Economy, Energy, Oil | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (0)
04/12/2012

The New Cigarette

I fly on a fairly regular basis and these trips always begin with a 6 a.m. flight, which means the plane boards around 5:30.  Because I’m a frequent flyer, I always board in Zone 2.  I’m not frequent enough to qualify for Zone 1, but I’m still among the first on the plane, which gives me a chance to settle in before my seatmate arrives.

I rarely speak to strangers on airplanes, so elaborate avoidance schemes are unnecessary, but invariably the person who sits next to me stows his or her carry-on, fastens her or his seatbelt and pulls out his or her smart phone and begins scrolling through her or his email.

Really?  Email?  At 5:40 a.m.?  From whom, the Union Bank of Switzerland?  Not only that, but guess what?  I’ve got a smart phone, too, so even from the next seat I can tell that you’re not looking at new email, but just shuffling through crap you’ve already read.

I already had my book out and after the perfunctory nod to make sure you saw that I wasn’t sitting on your seat belt, I was already (for the most part) ignoring you.  In fact, the only reason I pay these people any attention at all is because I couldn’t help noticing these bizarre, pointless smart phone ceremonies and now I keep stealing glances out of pure bafflement.
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By floegel | Posted in Commentary | Tagged , | Comments (0)
04/05/2012

Al Gore’s Igloo

This is the fourth installment of my New Year’s pay more attention to the weather resolution.  It was hard to wait until the first of the month, given the summer-like heat Vermont experienced a few weeks ago.  When a late-winter storm hit Washington, DC in 2010 (I was on one of the last planes out of National Airport), Republican Congressional aides built an igloo on the Capitol lawn with a mailbox reading “Al Gore” out front.  Perhaps I should have built a cabana in my front yard with a mailbox reading “Jim Inhofe” out front.

If, as oil companies, Republican senators and presidential candidates claim, global warming is nothing more than a hoax dreamed up by environmentalists to raise money, it’s one hell of a hoax.  On the radio yesterday, the announcer said we were having yet another “red flag day,” meaning that the threat of brush or forest fire was high.  I first heard a red flag warning on March 23.  Late winter and early spring in Vermont are supposed to be exemplified by mud, not fire, but “new normal” are the words on everyone’s lips.  (I really didn’t want this resolution series to be all about global warming either, but these circumstances are beyond my control.)

The winter of 2012 was dry, with neither much snow nor rain falling.  Global warming models call for the northeast to get wetter overall, but also call for precipitation to fall in short, intense bursts, as we saw late last summer with Hurricane Irene.  The US Geological Survey maintains a web site that records the water level in Lake Champlain and because I have a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder, I check the lake level every morning.  In March, that level dipped below average for the first time in four and a half years. Continue reading »

By floegel | Posted in Commentary, Global Warming | Tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)