Hello there, pleased to meet you. I’m the builder of the new American empire – the economic empire. Perhaps you’ve heard of me. There was a story about me a few weeks ago in the Sunday New York Times. They can’t seem to stop writing about me, the New York Times – Wall Street Journal either, for that matter.
The particular story I’m talking about has to do with all the trouble my friends and I have been having in Mexico City. It’s a classic dilemma: on one hand, there’s a ton of money to be made down there, always has been, but since NAFTA – forget about it. Place is crawling with Americans – Dupont, Xerox, Citibank, Goodyear, IBM. It’s like the whole Fortune 500 has gone south of the border. All the guys down there are on the same track, spend a couple of years in ol’ Mejico, come back a vice president. Best favor you ever did for your career.
Anyhow, problem is, it’s Dodge City down there. I’m talking mucho banditos. These guys make the Bloods and Crips look like Avon ladies. You take three steps out of your office and all of a sudden you’ve got a gun in your ear. Before you know it – ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom – you’re in a car with them, driving around pulling cash – your cash – out of ATMs all over town. Then they take your cash, your wallet, your Rolex, your cell phone and dump you in some goddamned barrio with nothing but your boxer shorts. That’s if you’re lucky. If you’re not lucky, they hold you for ransom. Two years ago they nailed a Japanese Sanyo executive and sold him back for two million bucks.
After that, all the companies ran out and bought kidnapping insurance. I mean, it’s a cost of doing business, you gotta protect your investment, right? Most of us live outside the center of the city. Out in the hills, you can get a villa with walls, a security system. When we go into town, we’ve got armored cars, expert drivers, armed bodyguards. These Mexican bodyguards, they’re tough. They’ll drop you if you look at them crossways.
And this is not just Mexico. This is happening all over the world – Russia, South Africa, Pakistan, you name it – there are incredible opportunities to make money in dangerous and unstable societies. Like I said, we’re the builders of the American economic empire. Just like the old military empires, only smarter, more efficient. A hundred years ago, the imperialists had to worry about building roads, fighting plagues. We have a purer form of power, we just want the money. Capital, cash, currency. Quick and dirty. If things get too hot, we just hop a flight until things cool off. It’s the modern empire, the corporate empire. The so-called nation state is just our subcontractor, providing administrative, logistic and security services.
Only, like I said, things are not so secure. In the old days, the military empires, you had these nationalists, your Ho Chi Minh and Patrice Lumumba wannabees, going after the governor general or military attaches. It was all about politics. Today we’ve got these bandidos holding us up or holding us hostage. It’s all about money. I suppose there’s a certain symmetry there. We’re only interested in money, they’re only interested in money.
But I’m not complaining, OK? It could be worse and soon, it probably will be. Even as I speak, 29 countries are in Paris, negotiating the Multilateral Agreement on Investment. Boring title, I know, but this thing is going to make NAFTA and GATT look like take-out menus. We’re talking about an unimpeded flow of capital across the globe. More than ever before there’s going to be one set of rules for doing business anywhere in the world and that rule is: anything goes. The MAI is going to bulldoze all local, state and national regulations off the table. Environmental rules, labor standards, local reinvestment of profits – history. It’s all going to be history. Any disputes will be settled by international trade tribunals. Like I said, national governments are just subcontractors.
I know you haven’t heard much about the Multilateral Agreement on Investment, but you will. The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, they’ve been briefed. They’re on board. They’ll start cranking out the pro-MAI editorials any day now. You’ll see.
But by the time it goes through, I’ll have my promotion. I’ll be back stateside at HQ. Good thing too, because if you think being a U.S. businessman in the second and third worlds is dangerous now – you ain’t seen nothing yet.
Dangerous Days in the Economic Empire
Hello there, pleased to meet you. I’m the builder of the new American empire – the economic empire. Perhaps you’ve heard of me. There was a story about me a few weeks ago in the Sunday New York Times. They can’t seem to stop writing about me, the New York Times – Wall Street Journal either, for that matter.
The particular story I’m talking about has to do with all the trouble my friends and I have been having in Mexico City. It’s a classic dilemma: on one hand, there’s a ton of money to be made down there, always has been, but since NAFTA – forget about it. Place is crawling with Americans – Dupont, Xerox, Citibank, Goodyear, IBM. It’s like the whole Fortune 500 has gone south of the border. All the guys down there are on the same track, spend a couple of years in ol’ Mejico, come back a vice president. Best favor you ever did for your career.
Anyhow, problem is, it’s Dodge City down there. I’m talking mucho banditos. These guys make the Bloods and Crips look like Avon ladies. You take three steps out of your office and all of a sudden you’ve got a gun in your ear. Before you know it – ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom – you’re in a car with them, driving around pulling cash – your cash – out of ATMs all over town. Then they take your cash, your wallet, your Rolex, your cell phone and dump you in some goddamned barrio with nothing but your boxer shorts. That’s if you’re lucky. If you’re not lucky, they hold you for ransom. Two years ago they nailed a Japanese Sanyo executive and sold him back for two million bucks.
After that, all the companies ran out and bought kidnapping insurance. I mean, it’s a cost of doing business, you gotta protect your investment, right? Most of us live outside the center of the city. Out in the hills, you can get a villa with walls, a security system. When we go into town, we’ve got armored cars, expert drivers, armed bodyguards. These Mexican bodyguards, they’re tough. They’ll drop you if you look at them crossways.
And this is not just Mexico. This is happening all over the world – Russia, South Africa, Pakistan, you name it – there are incredible opportunities to make money in dangerous and unstable societies. Like I said, we’re the builders of the American economic empire. Just like the old military empires, only smarter, more efficient. A hundred years ago, the imperialists had to worry about building roads, fighting plagues. We have a purer form of power, we just want the money. Capital, cash, currency. Quick and dirty. If things get too hot, we just hop a flight until things cool off. It’s the modern empire, the corporate empire. The so-called nation state is just our subcontractor, providing administrative, logistic and security services.
Only, like I said, things are not so secure. In the old days, the military empires, you had these nationalists, your Ho Chi Minh and Patrice Lumumba wannabees, going after the governor general or military attaches. It was all about politics. Today we’ve got these bandidos holding us up or holding us hostage. It’s all about money. I suppose there’s a certain symmetry there. We’re only interested in money, they’re only interested in money.
But I’m not complaining, OK? It could be worse and soon, it probably will be. Even as I speak, 29 countries are in Paris, negotiating the Multilateral Agreement on Investment. Boring title, I know, but this thing is going to make NAFTA and GATT look like take-out menus. We’re talking about an unimpeded flow of capital across the globe. More than ever before there’s going to be one set of rules for doing business anywhere in the world and that rule is: anything goes. The MAI is going to bulldoze all local, state and national regulations off the table. Environmental rules, labor standards, local reinvestment of profits – history. It’s all going to be history. Any disputes will be settled by international trade tribunals. Like I said, national governments are just subcontractors.
I know you haven’t heard much about the Multilateral Agreement on Investment, but you will. The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, they’ve been briefed. They’re on board. They’ll start cranking out the pro-MAI editorials any day now. You’ll see.
But by the time it goes through, I’ll have my promotion. I’ll be back stateside at HQ. Good thing too, because if you think being a U.S. businessman in the second and third worlds is dangerous now – you ain’t seen nothing yet.