This week, I’ve got car trouble. Not your usual kind of car trouble, but late 90s, end-of-the-millennium, fin de siecle, progressive commentator car trouble. I’ve got a problem with my electric car. I don’t have one. That’s my problem.
I know electric cars are a joke just about everywhere but A) – Southern California, where everyone is choking to death and B) – the Green Mountain state, where we’re all so crunchy we can’t stand it.
If you look through nationally-distributed magazines, you might see full-page ads from Honda or Toyota with photos of hybrid cars that have internal combustion engines and electric engines. You can look, but you’d better not touch.
We want these things and they won’t sell them to us. The governor and our Republican senator have both written to all the major automakers, asking them to have electric cars sold in Vermont. Most of the automakers didn’t even write back. Toyota sent a note that said, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.” In America, a Republican senator writes to a bunch of major corporations to say, “Please let me help you sell your stuff in my state,” and he can’t even get an answer! There’s the can-do spirit for you.
Some of the locals started calling to follow up on this and the rap they got was this: “Vermont is too hilly; Vermont is too cold.” Now that’s just B.S. The governor set up our own electric car program. The state has 11 electric cars and two pickups. I think some of the boys over in the state highway shop in Montpelier built them out of old Heathkit radios – and they seem to work just fine. Am I saying that a bunch of granola-eating old hippies have got more engineering smarts than GM and Ford put together? It sure looks that way.
Here’s two more excuses one automaker gave in the same conversation. Excuse number one: “Well, we don’t make that many because there’s no market for them.” Excuse number two: “We’re sold out.” If you’re sold out, then there must be more of a market than you think.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not just pointless whining to get me through the long winter months. Oh no. Automakers, on behalf of all Vermonters, I am calling you out. Either you come across with the electric cars — or no more maple syrup. You think we’re kidding, you just try us. You fat cats in Detroit will be gagging on your dry pancakes and then we’ll see who’s sorry. I hate to see it come to this, but the governor tried being nice and where’d it get him? And another thing, we’re not gonna smuggle any more Cuban cigars across the border from Canada, either.
I’m not saying definitively that I would buy an electric car if I had the chance – I just want the opportunity to make my own bad decisions without the automakers doing it for me. I know Adrienne would want one; she works at the university, commutes back and forth. An electric car would be perfect for her. Not only that, the way I see it, she could plug it in while she’s at work and charge it up there.
Because of a conspiracy among automakers, Americans are being deprived of their constitutional right to take more stuff from work and stick it to the oil companies while doing it.
I’m Mark Floegel – and even though Jim Hightower won’t say hello when he sees me in the hallway – this is WebActive.
Car Trouble
This week, I’ve got car trouble. Not your usual kind of car trouble, but late 90s, end-of-the-millennium, fin de siecle, progressive commentator car trouble. I’ve got a problem with my electric car. I don’t have one. That’s my problem.
I know electric cars are a joke just about everywhere but A) – Southern California, where everyone is choking to death and B) – the Green Mountain state, where we’re all so crunchy we can’t stand it.
If you look through nationally-distributed magazines, you might see full-page ads from Honda or Toyota with photos of hybrid cars that have internal combustion engines and electric engines. You can look, but you’d better not touch.
We want these things and they won’t sell them to us. The governor and our Republican senator have both written to all the major automakers, asking them to have electric cars sold in Vermont. Most of the automakers didn’t even write back. Toyota sent a note that said, “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.” In America, a Republican senator writes to a bunch of major corporations to say, “Please let me help you sell your stuff in my state,” and he can’t even get an answer! There’s the can-do spirit for you.
Some of the locals started calling to follow up on this and the rap they got was this: “Vermont is too hilly; Vermont is too cold.” Now that’s just B.S. The governor set up our own electric car program. The state has 11 electric cars and two pickups. I think some of the boys over in the state highway shop in Montpelier built them out of old Heathkit radios – and they seem to work just fine. Am I saying that a bunch of granola-eating old hippies have got more engineering smarts than GM and Ford put together? It sure looks that way.
Here’s two more excuses one automaker gave in the same conversation. Excuse number one: “Well, we don’t make that many because there’s no market for them.” Excuse number two: “We’re sold out.” If you’re sold out, then there must be more of a market than you think.
Don’t get me wrong, this is not just pointless whining to get me through the long winter months. Oh no. Automakers, on behalf of all Vermonters, I am calling you out. Either you come across with the electric cars — or no more maple syrup. You think we’re kidding, you just try us. You fat cats in Detroit will be gagging on your dry pancakes and then we’ll see who’s sorry. I hate to see it come to this, but the governor tried being nice and where’d it get him? And another thing, we’re not gonna smuggle any more Cuban cigars across the border from Canada, either.
I’m not saying definitively that I would buy an electric car if I had the chance – I just want the opportunity to make my own bad decisions without the automakers doing it for me. I know Adrienne would want one; she works at the university, commutes back and forth. An electric car would be perfect for her. Not only that, the way I see it, she could plug it in while she’s at work and charge it up there.
Because of a conspiracy among automakers, Americans are being deprived of their constitutional right to take more stuff from work and stick it to the oil companies while doing it.
I’m Mark Floegel – and even though Jim Hightower won’t say hello when he sees me in the hallway – this is WebActive.