There is no figure more ungainly in the world of government than the bureaucrat without a mandate. Witness Tom Ridge, director of Homeland Security. In the wake of last year’s terror attacks, the Bush administration had to show it was doing something to protect the country, so Mr. Ridge was drafted away from the Pennsylvania governor’s mansion and given the task of coordinating protection of America’s borders and the security of America’s airports. Mr. Ridge’s early tenure was notable for his color-coding of security alerts and his refusal to testify before congressional committees.
This week, to facilitate traffic flow through airports, Mr. Ridge announced the creation of the “trusted flier” program. Travelers willing to submit to background checks – and pay a fee – would be entitled to a “trusted flier” card, which would speed them through security checkpoints.
The program would be run by the airline industry and would help sort out travelers who are deemed to pose little or no risk of committing terrorist acts. The Washington Post reports Mr. Ridge compared it to programs already run by airlines in which fliers who pay a fee have access to airport lounges.
The “trusted flier” program has to be the stupidest idea to come out of the federal government since Gerald Ford’s “WIN” buttons. If you don’t know what a “WIN” button is, ask your parents. Mr. Ridge said he thinks many travelers would pay fees and submit to background checks if it meant the could qualify as “trusted fliers.” I’m sure he’s right, but somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better.
On the other hand, I could be wrong. Tom Ridge has spent more time thinking through this issue than I have. Maybe the “trusted flier” program could become a model for streamlining many of America’s bureaucratic boondoggles.
How about a “trusted drinker” program? Certain Americans will be able to drive while intoxicated, if they have paid a fee and have proven – on a closed course – that they can safely operate a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level above the legal limit. There are beer-swillers in every tavern in America who claim they actually drive better after they’ve had a few. This is their chance to prove it, and get a card from the federal government that certifies it.
In the wake of the Enron-Arthur Andersen scandal, the Securities and Exchange Commission may want to establish a “trusted auditor” program. Auditors are supposed to be trustworthy by definition, and really, most of them are. Now they can prove it by making a sizable contribution to the Republican politician of their choice and undergoing no background check whatsoever. With a “trusted auditor” card, a firm may take on contracts that appear to have direct conflicts of interest.
Continuing its outreach to the faith community, the Bush administration can offer the “trusted priest” card. Clergy of all faiths – even people who became ministers over the Internet – can qualify for the “trusted priest” card by making a suggested donation – and proving they’ve kept their pants on for at least two years. You could be taking the altar boys on a field trip within weeks!
For our African-American brothers and sisters, there’s the Homeland Security “trusted profile” decal for your car. Just pay a substantial fine – er, that is, fee – and spend six months in preventative detention and you’ll be free to travel the highways of America just the same as anyone else. Liberty and justice for all.
Does all that sound silly? Of course it does, but so do color-coded security alerts and “trusted flier” cards. No wonder the White House doesn’t want Tom Ridge to talk to Congress.
The one background check that may truly give Americans some measure of security, the background check on handgun purchases, is being dismantled by Attorney General John Ashcroft.
If the “trusted flier” card is the best idea Tom Ridge can come up with in six months on the job, it may be time to go back to Pennsylvania.
Trust, but Verify
There is no figure more ungainly in the world of government than the bureaucrat without a mandate. Witness Tom Ridge, director of Homeland Security. In the wake of last year’s terror attacks, the Bush administration had to show it was doing something to protect the country, so Mr. Ridge was drafted away from the Pennsylvania governor’s mansion and given the task of coordinating protection of America’s borders and the security of America’s airports. Mr. Ridge’s early tenure was notable for his color-coding of security alerts and his refusal to testify before congressional committees.
This week, to facilitate traffic flow through airports, Mr. Ridge announced the creation of the “trusted flier” program. Travelers willing to submit to background checks – and pay a fee – would be entitled to a “trusted flier” card, which would speed them through security checkpoints.
The program would be run by the airline industry and would help sort out travelers who are deemed to pose little or no risk of committing terrorist acts. The Washington Post reports Mr. Ridge compared it to programs already run by airlines in which fliers who pay a fee have access to airport lounges.
The “trusted flier” program has to be the stupidest idea to come out of the federal government since Gerald Ford’s “WIN” buttons. If you don’t know what a “WIN” button is, ask your parents. Mr. Ridge said he thinks many travelers would pay fees and submit to background checks if it meant the could qualify as “trusted fliers.” I’m sure he’s right, but somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better.
On the other hand, I could be wrong. Tom Ridge has spent more time thinking through this issue than I have. Maybe the “trusted flier” program could become a model for streamlining many of America’s bureaucratic boondoggles.
How about a “trusted drinker” program? Certain Americans will be able to drive while intoxicated, if they have paid a fee and have proven – on a closed course – that they can safely operate a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level above the legal limit. There are beer-swillers in every tavern in America who claim they actually drive better after they’ve had a few. This is their chance to prove it, and get a card from the federal government that certifies it.
In the wake of the Enron-Arthur Andersen scandal, the Securities and Exchange Commission may want to establish a “trusted auditor” program. Auditors are supposed to be trustworthy by definition, and really, most of them are. Now they can prove it by making a sizable contribution to the Republican politician of their choice and undergoing no background check whatsoever. With a “trusted auditor” card, a firm may take on contracts that appear to have direct conflicts of interest.
Continuing its outreach to the faith community, the Bush administration can offer the “trusted priest” card. Clergy of all faiths – even people who became ministers over the Internet – can qualify for the “trusted priest” card by making a suggested donation – and proving they’ve kept their pants on for at least two years. You could be taking the altar boys on a field trip within weeks!
For our African-American brothers and sisters, there’s the Homeland Security “trusted profile” decal for your car. Just pay a substantial fine – er, that is, fee – and spend six months in preventative detention and you’ll be free to travel the highways of America just the same as anyone else. Liberty and justice for all.
Does all that sound silly? Of course it does, but so do color-coded security alerts and “trusted flier” cards. No wonder the White House doesn’t want Tom Ridge to talk to Congress.
The one background check that may truly give Americans some measure of security, the background check on handgun purchases, is being dismantled by Attorney General John Ashcroft.
If the “trusted flier” card is the best idea Tom Ridge can come up with in six months on the job, it may be time to go back to Pennsylvania.