People have been unhappy with government for many years. Some two thousand years ago “there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that the world should be taxed.” Bet that was welcome news.
This year, House Speaker Dennis Hastert boldly stood up for his right to call the evergreen on the lawn a “Christmas,” rather than a “holiday” tree, because we’re a Christian nation and won’t be forced to bend to the secular humanists. If we’re a “Christian nation” and if I understand correctly what that Christ fellow said, then why did it take Mr. Hastert and company so long to pass a ban on torture?
At the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue, George and Laura Bush committed the faux pas of the social season by sending out “holiday,” rather than “Christmas,” cards. The week after that scandal broke, it was revealed (to many fewer grassroots complaints) that Mr. Bush authorized the secret police to wiretap citizens four years ago. Unfortunately for him, he was bugging PETA and Greenpeace instead of the Southern Baptist Convention or he might have know what to write on his cards.
Bill O’Reilly, Fox News commentator and sex offender, has been on a tear about the “Christmas versus holiday” greeting, even complaining about the “fascism” of a high school in Plano, Texas that forbade students from wearing red and green clothes. The Washington Post fact-checked that claim and found Mr. O’Reilly had made it up. Mr. O’Reilly and company have been after department stores, too – Target is a favorite target – for using the word “holiday” more than the word “Christmas” in their year-end decorations and advertising.
This campaign marks a milestone in our devolution. Used to be, we lamented that crass materialism was destroying the meaning of Christmas; now we’ll settle for dictating the crass materialism we’re bombarded with. Really, “Christmas versus holiday” is an attempt to create an illusion that conservative Christians are a persecuted minority in America, in hopes of distracting attention from the onerous police state being revealed in Washington, DC.
Even if we accede to public displays of religiosity, what’s wrong with the word “holiday”? It’s a contraction of the words “holy” and “day.” There’s a problem with that? We want to “keep Christ in Christmas,” but “keeping holy in holiday” isn’t good enough? Not specific enough? What’s next? “Merry Evangelical Protestant Christmas”?
I can’t think this attitude is good for recruiting. “Christianity: The Screaming Bully Religion! You’re either with us or against us!” Rivers of contumelious yuletide spew demanding that everyone celebrate their holiday your way is, from my reading of the Bible, unchristian by definition. Christianity is supposed to be about tolerance, compassion and forgiveness, but anyone mentioning those virtues is likely to be, uh, crucified.
Look, we’re all stressed by the unreasonable demands of spending and travel and forced bonhomie that plagues us during the year’s final month, but perhaps the solution is to stay home with your own family rather than go peeping through everyone else’s windows. The end of the year, whatever you call it, should be a time to let the water pass under the bridge and be gone.
So, with that in mind, Happy Holidays, peace and goodwill to all, even those with whom I disagree! Yuletide blessings to the senders of angry e-mails! A cheery glow of brake lights to drivers who cut me off in traffic! A hearty wave to the public works truck that plowed in my driveway! Merry Christmas to all who mispronounce my last name! Happy New Year to those who consistently misspell it! Warmest wishes to people who forget my name altogether (or just know me as “Ada’s husband”)! Greetings of the season to the many companies and organizations who send solicitations to “Josh Fliegel” at my address! (Don’t expect to hear from him anytime soon!)
Merry Holidays
People have been unhappy with government for many years. Some two thousand years ago “there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that the world should be taxed.” Bet that was welcome news.
This year, House Speaker Dennis Hastert boldly stood up for his right to call the evergreen on the lawn a “Christmas,” rather than a “holiday” tree, because we’re a Christian nation and won’t be forced to bend to the secular humanists. If we’re a “Christian nation” and if I understand correctly what that Christ fellow said, then why did it take Mr. Hastert and company so long to pass a ban on torture?
At the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue, George and Laura Bush committed the faux pas of the social season by sending out “holiday,” rather than “Christmas,” cards. The week after that scandal broke, it was revealed (to many fewer grassroots complaints) that Mr. Bush authorized the secret police to wiretap citizens four years ago. Unfortunately for him, he was bugging PETA and Greenpeace instead of the Southern Baptist Convention or he might have know what to write on his cards.
Bill O’Reilly, Fox News commentator and sex offender, has been on a tear about the “Christmas versus holiday” greeting, even complaining about the “fascism” of a high school in Plano, Texas that forbade students from wearing red and green clothes. The Washington Post fact-checked that claim and found Mr. O’Reilly had made it up. Mr. O’Reilly and company have been after department stores, too – Target is a favorite target – for using the word “holiday” more than the word “Christmas” in their year-end decorations and advertising.
This campaign marks a milestone in our devolution. Used to be, we lamented that crass materialism was destroying the meaning of Christmas; now we’ll settle for dictating the crass materialism we’re bombarded with. Really, “Christmas versus holiday” is an attempt to create an illusion that conservative Christians are a persecuted minority in America, in hopes of distracting attention from the onerous police state being revealed in Washington, DC.
Even if we accede to public displays of religiosity, what’s wrong with the word “holiday”? It’s a contraction of the words “holy” and “day.” There’s a problem with that? We want to “keep Christ in Christmas,” but “keeping holy in holiday” isn’t good enough? Not specific enough? What’s next? “Merry Evangelical Protestant Christmas”?
I can’t think this attitude is good for recruiting. “Christianity: The Screaming Bully Religion! You’re either with us or against us!” Rivers of contumelious yuletide spew demanding that everyone celebrate their holiday your way is, from my reading of the Bible, unchristian by definition. Christianity is supposed to be about tolerance, compassion and forgiveness, but anyone mentioning those virtues is likely to be, uh, crucified.
Look, we’re all stressed by the unreasonable demands of spending and travel and forced bonhomie that plagues us during the year’s final month, but perhaps the solution is to stay home with your own family rather than go peeping through everyone else’s windows. The end of the year, whatever you call it, should be a time to let the water pass under the bridge and be gone.
So, with that in mind, Happy Holidays, peace and goodwill to all, even those with whom I disagree! Yuletide blessings to the senders of angry e-mails! A cheery glow of brake lights to drivers who cut me off in traffic! A hearty wave to the public works truck that plowed in my driveway! Merry Christmas to all who mispronounce my last name! Happy New Year to those who consistently misspell it! Warmest wishes to people who forget my name altogether (or just know me as “Ada’s husband”)! Greetings of the season to the many companies and organizations who send solicitations to “Josh Fliegel” at my address! (Don’t expect to hear from him anytime soon!)
© Mark Floegel, 2005