If Bill Clinton’s contribution to the American political dictionary was a redefinition of the word “adulterer,” because what he did with “that young woman” wasn’t really cheating, then George W. Bush’s contribution is a redefinition of “totalitarian,” because he claims his lying to and spying on citizens, is really all in our best interest. (Come to think of it, that’s the same excuse all the totalitarians use.)
The NSA/phone tracking affair is a wonderful opportunity for novice DC watchers to learn a raft of definitions about the way policy is conducted in our nation’s capital.
The Al Qaeda Burka – USA Today reported a week ago that the National Security Agency has been tracking the numbers, times and durations of billions of phone calls placed by Americans and compiling the information into what has been described as the biggest database in history. When the story broke, Mr. Bush found a podium and defended the actions as necessary to protect the homeland from further attacks by Al Qaeda. You can tell when Mr. Bush has been caught breaking the law or violating the Constitution, because these are the only times the words “Al Qaeda” or “Osama bin Laden” come from his mouth. Usually Osama’s the man we can’t find and Al Qaeda’s the group we can’t stop and the less said about them the better, unless we need an excuse. This maneuver mused to be called the “Al Qaeda Fig Leaf,” but that provided too little coverage, so it was traded for a burka, which as we know, covers absolutely everything.
Bells’ Palsy – USA Today said three of the four major phone service providers – AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth – turned over phone records to the NSA and only Qwest refused the government’s request. The offending companies initially refused to comment on the report. After a few days of round the clock media coverage, during which the NSA and the White House admitted they were tracking phone calls (but claimed it’s legal because they don’t listen to the content), spokespeople for Verizon and BellSouth made the bizarre claim that their companies have not cooperated with the NSA after all. AT&T says it doesn’t give information to the government without a court order. (It’s unclear if Mr. Bush’s people know what a court order is, never having used one.) USA Today stands by its story, the administration has yet to deny anything and none of the Bells have sued USA Today for libel, so you pick what you want to believe.
Lynch the Leaker – It is a tribute to American patriotism, I suppose, to see so many of the Mr. Bush’s illegal activities exposed, from the phone-tracking to the tapping of calls to and from the U.S. (exposed last December) to the CIA’s network of ghost prisons (exposed last November), to Abu Ghraib (2004) and on and on. Some person or persons in the government knows about these crimes and leaks them. Mr. Bush (totalitarian, remember?) seeks to punish anyone who tells citizens how their government conducts itself and punish the press for doing its job. That’s one reason the NSA started tracking who’s calling whom. Anyone who pulls a crimestopper on the administration is accused of “helping our enemies,” the implication being that anyone who opposes Mr. Bush and his methods is an enemy, too. Michael Hayden, the man behind the NSA tapping and tracking, now nominated to be director of Central Intelligence, joined Mr. Bush in bashing to the press in his first confirmation hearing before the Senate Intelligence Committee. “CIA needs to get out of the news as source or subject and focus on protecting the American people by acquiring secrets and providing high-quality all-source analysis,” he said. Intelligence Committee chair, Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS) joined Gen. Hayden, saying terrorists “must be rejoicing” over the leak about NSA crimes. The best example of Lynch the Leaker is Mr. Bush’s persecution of Ambassador Joseph Wilson three years ago, for exposing the State of the Union lies about uranium yellowcake and Iraq. When, by the way, is the Karl Rove indictment going to be handed down?
Senate Shuffle – The current edition of the Washington Post says Gen Hayden was subjected to “tough questioning from Democrats” on the Intelligence Committee. Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) said the CIA is in “disarray.” Sen. Ron Wyden (R-OR) told the general “I now have a difficult time with your credibility.” Gee whiz. Here’s a question the senators should be asking: “General, last week we found out you’ve been unapologetically breaking the law; this week we’re considering you for a new position. Why are we doing that? Why are we not talking about sending you to jail?”
By Any Other Name
If Bill Clinton’s contribution to the American political dictionary was a redefinition of the word “adulterer,” because what he did with “that young woman” wasn’t really cheating, then George W. Bush’s contribution is a redefinition of “totalitarian,” because he claims his lying to and spying on citizens, is really all in our best interest. (Come to think of it, that’s the same excuse all the totalitarians use.)
The NSA/phone tracking affair is a wonderful opportunity for novice DC watchers to learn a raft of definitions about the way policy is conducted in our nation’s capital.
The Al Qaeda Burka – USA Today reported a week ago that the National Security Agency has been tracking the numbers, times and durations of billions of phone calls placed by Americans and compiling the information into what has been described as the biggest database in history. When the story broke, Mr. Bush found a podium and defended the actions as necessary to protect the homeland from further attacks by Al Qaeda. You can tell when Mr. Bush has been caught breaking the law or violating the Constitution, because these are the only times the words “Al Qaeda” or “Osama bin Laden” come from his mouth. Usually Osama’s the man we can’t find and Al Qaeda’s the group we can’t stop and the less said about them the better, unless we need an excuse. This maneuver mused to be called the “Al Qaeda Fig Leaf,” but that provided too little coverage, so it was traded for a burka, which as we know, covers absolutely everything.
Bells’ Palsy – USA Today said three of the four major phone service providers – AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth – turned over phone records to the NSA and only Qwest refused the government’s request. The offending companies initially refused to comment on the report. After a few days of round the clock media coverage, during which the NSA and the White House admitted they were tracking phone calls (but claimed it’s legal because they don’t listen to the content), spokespeople for Verizon and BellSouth made the bizarre claim that their companies have not cooperated with the NSA after all. AT&T says it doesn’t give information to the government without a court order. (It’s unclear if Mr. Bush’s people know what a court order is, never having used one.) USA Today stands by its story, the administration has yet to deny anything and none of the Bells have sued USA Today for libel, so you pick what you want to believe.
Lynch the Leaker – It is a tribute to American patriotism, I suppose, to see so many of the Mr. Bush’s illegal activities exposed, from the phone-tracking to the tapping of calls to and from the U.S. (exposed last December) to the CIA’s network of ghost prisons (exposed last November), to Abu Ghraib (2004) and on and on. Some person or persons in the government knows about these crimes and leaks them. Mr. Bush (totalitarian, remember?) seeks to punish anyone who tells citizens how their government conducts itself and punish the press for doing its job. That’s one reason the NSA started tracking who’s calling whom. Anyone who pulls a crimestopper on the administration is accused of “helping our enemies,” the implication being that anyone who opposes Mr. Bush and his methods is an enemy, too. Michael Hayden, the man behind the NSA tapping and tracking, now nominated to be director of Central Intelligence, joined Mr. Bush in bashing to the press in his first confirmation hearing before the Senate Intelligence Committee. “CIA needs to get out of the news as source or subject and focus on protecting the American people by acquiring secrets and providing high-quality all-source analysis,” he said. Intelligence Committee chair, Sen. Pat Roberts (R-KS) joined Gen. Hayden, saying terrorists “must be rejoicing” over the leak about NSA crimes. The best example of Lynch the Leaker is Mr. Bush’s persecution of Ambassador Joseph Wilson three years ago, for exposing the State of the Union lies about uranium yellowcake and Iraq. When, by the way, is the Karl Rove indictment going to be handed down?
Senate Shuffle – The current edition of the Washington Post says Gen Hayden was subjected to “tough questioning from Democrats” on the Intelligence Committee. Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI) said the CIA is in “disarray.” Sen. Ron Wyden (R-OR) told the general “I now have a difficult time with your credibility.” Gee whiz. Here’s a question the senators should be asking: “General, last week we found out you’ve been unapologetically breaking the law; this week we’re considering you for a new position. Why are we doing that? Why are we not talking about sending you to jail?”
© Mark Floegel, 2006