Right now, in various cities around the United States, Frito-Lay is test-marketing potato chips made with a synthetic product that tastes like fat, but is not “fattening,” to use my mother’s word.
The product, “olestra,” is made by Procter and Gamble and is designed to pass through the digestive system without being digested. The alleged benefit of this is that we can eat potato chips without gaining weight. There are, however, a few problems. Studies have shown that eating foods containing olestra causes diarrhea in some people. Olestra has also been found to rob the body of certain nutrients. The former head of the Food and Drug Administration called these effects annoying, but not medically significant. My informal polling shows that most Americans have stronger opinions about diarrhea than the FDA does.
The scientists at Procter and Gamble, who spent 25 years questing after the grail of artificial fat, say consumers won’t have to worry about diarrhea and vitamin deprivation if they eat olestra potato chips in moderation. I don’t mean to be hypercritical — after all, Procter and Gamble spent $250 million to bring us fake fat which passes through our digestive system undigested — but if they designed a potato chip that can only be eaten in moderation, they don’t understand what potato chips are all about. Nobody eats potato chips in moderation, they eat vegetables in moderation. Why do Procter and Gamble think potato chips are covered in salt and given away free in bars? And Frito-Lay, which once advertised Lay’s Potato Chips with the slogan “Bet you can’t eat just one!” will now have to add “and shouldn’t eat more than ten!”
In this world of starving people, Procter and Gamble has spent a quarter of a billion dollars developing a “food” product designed to pass through the digestive system without being digested. Worse, by leaching out nutrients other food has carried into your body, it makes your meals as pointless as your snacks. John Pepper, chairman of Procter and Gamble, called the introduction of olestra a step toward achieving important dietary health goals. I’m not making this up; I read it in the Associated Press. I suppose it’s conceivable that someone with an eating disorder could go on an olestra potato chip binge and die of malnutrution.
This seems like another symptom of moral decay, an example of people wanting to have their cake, eat it, but not do the sit-ups. People who don’t want to confront the consequences of their actions. I invite all politicians to seize on the moral decay aspects of the olestra issue as another means to divert the attention of the public away from health care, education and poverty. But they probably won’t. I’m sure a good chunk of Procter and Gamble’s $250 million has gone to lobbyists who are at this moment scuttling about Capitol Hill, erecting constitutional protections for fake fat which passes through the digestive system without being digested.
Those lobbyists would probably say the real problem here is my cantankerousness and backward thinking. Procter and Gamble’s Mr. Pepper, who for all I know may be related to Dr. Pepper, may be right when he calls olestra a step toward the achievement of important dietary goals. America has been waiting 25 years for the introduction of Pringles for the constipated. Perhaps Procter and Gamble should explore a licensing agreement with Ex-Lax.
If this trend spreads and Procter and Gamble introduces more olestra products to the market, we can look forward to the day when the American Medical Association declares the
term “digestive system” to be obsolete, because so much of what passes through it remains undigested. With a few million more dollars and a good copyright lawyer, Procter and Gamble may be able to get the name changed to something less threatening to consumers. Like say, the olestra system.
Anti-Food
Right now, in various cities around the United States, Frito-Lay is test-marketing potato chips made with a synthetic product that tastes like fat, but is not “fattening,” to use my mother’s word.
The product, “olestra,” is made by Procter and Gamble and is designed to pass through the digestive system without being digested. The alleged benefit of this is that we can eat potato chips without gaining weight. There are, however, a few problems. Studies have shown that eating foods containing olestra causes diarrhea in some people. Olestra has also been found to rob the body of certain nutrients. The former head of the Food and Drug Administration called these effects annoying, but not medically significant. My informal polling shows that most Americans have stronger opinions about diarrhea than the FDA does.
The scientists at Procter and Gamble, who spent 25 years questing after the grail of artificial fat, say consumers won’t have to worry about diarrhea and vitamin deprivation if they eat olestra potato chips in moderation. I don’t mean to be hypercritical — after all, Procter and Gamble spent $250 million to bring us fake fat which passes through our digestive system undigested — but if they designed a potato chip that can only be eaten in moderation, they don’t understand what potato chips are all about. Nobody eats potato chips in moderation, they eat vegetables in moderation. Why do Procter and Gamble think potato chips are covered in salt and given away free in bars? And Frito-Lay, which once advertised Lay’s Potato Chips with the slogan “Bet you can’t eat just one!” will now have to add “and shouldn’t eat more than ten!”
In this world of starving people, Procter and Gamble has spent a quarter of a billion dollars developing a “food” product designed to pass through the digestive system without being digested. Worse, by leaching out nutrients other food has carried into your body, it makes your meals as pointless as your snacks. John Pepper, chairman of Procter and Gamble, called the introduction of olestra a step toward achieving important dietary health goals. I’m not making this up; I read it in the Associated Press. I suppose it’s conceivable that someone with an eating disorder could go on an olestra potato chip binge and die of malnutrution.
This seems like another symptom of moral decay, an example of people wanting to have their cake, eat it, but not do the sit-ups. People who don’t want to confront the consequences of their actions. I invite all politicians to seize on the moral decay aspects of the olestra issue as another means to divert the attention of the public away from health care, education and poverty. But they probably won’t. I’m sure a good chunk of Procter and Gamble’s $250 million has gone to lobbyists who are at this moment scuttling about Capitol Hill, erecting constitutional protections for fake fat which passes through the digestive system without being digested.
Those lobbyists would probably say the real problem here is my cantankerousness and backward thinking. Procter and Gamble’s Mr. Pepper, who for all I know may be related to Dr. Pepper, may be right when he calls olestra a step toward the achievement of important dietary goals. America has been waiting 25 years for the introduction of Pringles for the constipated. Perhaps Procter and Gamble should explore a licensing agreement with Ex-Lax.
If this trend spreads and Procter and Gamble introduces more olestra products to the market, we can look forward to the day when the American Medical Association declares the
term “digestive system” to be obsolete, because so much of what passes through it remains undigested. With a few million more dollars and a good copyright lawyer, Procter and Gamble may be able to get the name changed to something less threatening to consumers. Like say, the olestra system.
(c) Mark Floegel, 1997